Peas in My Hair

Dear Neighbors:

Thank you for all your letters regarding our recent decision (not request for permission) to place humane traps in our yards to rid our baby’s play area of the raccoons you have so graciously attracted by leaving food on your porches every day for your and every other darn cat in the neighborhood.

Thank you for notifying us people will be upset if their feral and domestic cats start disappearing.

Now, try embracing the law. Yes, I and my daughter adore watching your cats. It’s fun. We might even like you if you would quit trying to put your desire to break the law by letting your possibly rabies infected cats prowl around in our yard and then writing us pathetic letters about how your feelings are more important than our safety (rabies? no thank you.). Despite our love of cats and responsible pet owners who keep them spayed, neutered, vaccinated and inside, we will do everything within the law to eradicate the raccoon population from our backyard.

This was supposed to be a no anger day! Aaaahhhh. Well, technically I’m not angry. I’m just venting to the world instead of delivering the letter I wrote to you earlier today. So I think this is a step in the right direction.

I am a little upset you have turned me into a “crazy cat hater” (which I am not), rather than a mother protecting her child and our territory. We live in Texas. If someone, a person, is on my property, I have the legal authority to shoot them. And you think a humane trap for a cat is mean? Puhleeeeeeze.

Well, you know I don’t like to complain, so I better go study now.

Sincerely, Peas